So everybody by now has either seen, or been told about one of Uwe (Ooo-way? Ew?) Boll’s many attempts at film making. Usually the douche bag takes a great game franchise and runs it into the ground until people don’t even want to play the game anymore.

Such travesties include:

1. House of the Dead
2. BloodRayne
3. and some other crap that I refuse to remember

Most of the time the only thing he contributes to film archives is gratuitous shots of female body parts (gotta love the bewbies). The rest of the time? It’s what I like to call “slowly taking your precious little time on Earth and sharting all over it”. That’s right, he doesn’t take the time to make a good movie that will have an ounce of replay value — he prays on the inner/outer geek of any video game loving male/female and kicks them in their respective genital area repeatedly.

I know you saw House of the Dead and were ready to have the fun time of your life based on the fact that every time before the movies you’d play the game until the movie started. And of course it was good good times. Then you watched the movie and cursed the franchise that you once loved so dear.

Now he’s doing it to Postal. Now granted this isn’t the kind of game that I’d expect anyone anywhere to know about, but I know it, and I’ll even admit to liking it for a period of time. It’s a “naughty” and mostly vile game to play, but it was fun. Imagine GTA but with no real missions except to piss on as many things and people as possible while trying to blow them up.

Anyhoo, I made this post far too long, but check out a little bit more info here. I predict this thing to go straight to video. And who the hell keeps giving this guy money to make these “movies”?