I don’t rant nearly enough as I probably could. Mostly because I forget things after shaking my fist vigorously in the air after seeing or experiencing them. I’m sure a lot of you folks out there can relate. We see things every day that kind just make you go “Hmmm” or “What the fack!?” but soon as we get home we forget what they were and go on about our lives. But this comes to an end for me, as I manage to seemingly get my short term memory back, I’m going to remember and rant, ’cause it’s my patriotic duty or something.

Rant #1: Cities and their salt

Now if you live in a major city that is known to be hit by snow storms, you know every winter your car is going to be sand papered by the cities salt trucks. They’re out there all night just waiting by the side of the road, with eager anticipation of that first snow fall. That first snowflake even looks like it might hit the ground the call goes round the area for the trucks to dump salt with a quickness that’d make a person with high blood pressure head explode.

Here’s the thing though… what happens when that first snowflake falls and doesn’t bring along his snowflake pals? Your car gets powdered like a ho’s face from a pimp with baby powder in his hand. It’s an ugly, hideous time of year for pearly paint jobs and squeeky clean, garaged tires.

Everybody just rolls around because it’s the norm, we see it every year, and we expect but secretly loathe the winter when it happens. I think it’s time for the weather men/women to get their acts together and be able to tell these salt droppin’ scourges how much snow is going to fall with complete accuracy, so we don’t have to suffer thousands of powder white cars on the road every day.

Rant #2: Barack Obama is black, we get it

Every day on the radio or TV (if you watch it, which I generally don’t, gotta love NPR though, a lot less abrasive) you hear something about Barack this or Barack that. Now some crazy new presidential candidate went out and said something stupid about Barack being the first “clean and articulate” African-American presidential candidate.

Now granted, that’s one of the most retarded statements a person can make in public. Kind of like saying, “Damn Michelle Wie’s eye’s are kinda chinky, how can she see that tiny ball?” um okay. But I’m not even ranting about the guy saying what he said, how about the African-American communities reaction vs. Barack’s own response?

Barack shrugged it off either as an idiot with a microphone getting to speak, or retarded guy trying to get some quick press buzz for his candidacy. The black community? Welp they got all riled up threw a hissy fit and then complained about Barack not responding like he should’ve and as per usual stated that he’s not black enough. What the hell does that have to do with anything?

A guy made a stupid remark, shrug it off, go about winning whatever it is you can win. Why can’t we as African-Americans stop with the “he’s not black enough” crap already? You don’t have to be black enough to represent people, just so as long as you care about them. So please, leave the idiocy at the church and try and act semi-normal outside.

Rant #3: The terrorist threat

It’s been 6 years since 9/11 and here we are, still waiting years to get on our flights and having troops fighting a fight that isn’t even a necessary fight.

Hrm actually this isn’t even a necessary rant. Let’s just leave it at… LET US ON OUR FLIGHTS AND STOP TRYING TO SCARE US WITH THESE IDIOTIC TODAY IN TERROR NEWS CASTS.

That’s all, I’m done. Enjoy your day.